Tip #15: Trust Their Heart

This one is a biggie…and I *think* it might apply a bit more to us ladies than the dudes…BUT I could be wrong (it wouldn’t be the first or the last time). Anyways, allow me to elaborate.  I love my husband. You guys know that, right? He is a WONDERFUL man with millions of AMAZING qualities. However, time estimation is (definitely) not (at all) one of them (I mean, really like, really really).

What do I mean? Early in our marriage, David would tell me ‘about 20 minutes’, so I thought that meant….well….about 20 minutes. After about an hour, I would be mad (like, really mad). However, after almost 8 years of wonderful matrimony, I have figured out the trick. I multiply every time estimate made by my amazing husband by 3. When he says, ‘I will leave in 5 minutes’, I plan for 15. When he says, ‘it should take about 20 minutes’, I plan for an hour. When he says, ‘I will call you right back,’ I know there will be a call sometime in the indefinite future. Now, I COULD get mad at him for always being wrong. BUT HERE’S THE VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT POINT: I know, without a shadow of a doubt and with every ounce of my being, that he is not intending to mislead me. It is never his heart's desire to throw me off or deliberately underestimate the time involved in any activity. He is just.plain.bad at it.  

So, what’s the point? I trust his heart. I trust his intentions. As a result, I choose to adjust for him rather than allow myself to get upset about something entirely unintentional. 

So, is there something your husband (or wife) does that gets under your skin? Maybe rather than trying to change them, you could decide to trust their heart. Trust that they love you and while they may not be great at __________(insert frustration here), their heart is not to annoy you. Next time it comes up, rather than trying to change your spouse, change your response by not looking at the action but looking at the heart. 

Could David change? Yes. And for what it’s worth, he has tried. (But he’s still really bad at it). However, rather than waiting for him to miraculously become better at time estimation, I decided years ago to trust this wonderful man-of-mines’ heart.*  

*Disclaimer: This was read and approved by my husband prior to posting J