More on the Subject of Sex in Marriag

Let’s talk about sex. If you are a child of the 80s (like yours truly), this might instinctively make you think of Salt N Pepa.  ~Let’s talk about sex, bae-be, Let’s talk about you and me, Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be…~

…anyways…
If you know me, you know this is a subject I am passionate about (pun intended). But seriously, I talk about it as much as I can. Why? Well, because I don’t think we (“we” being Christians) talk about it enough. On that note, there are 2 more things about sex that I feel need some highlighting. I will focus on one now and post the other later.

I have learned something. If you want your blog to get some hits, try talking about sex. Seriously. I mean it. The single most popular blog post I have written is “Marriage Tip # 16: Have Sex. Lots of Sex. Ya’ll. I mean LOTS.”  I’ve thought a lot about what makes it so popular, and here are my suspicions-
I have found that one of the more popular audiences for my post about sex is college students (yeah, I see you. I know you’re reading this. If only you would read your textbooks like you read these posts about sex…).  I suppose it’s partly because they find it a bit amusing that a professor at a conservative Christian college and former youth pastor would talk so frankly about sex. But I think there is also something more. I think young people- or perhaps just people- have a natural curiosity about sex, and the unfortunate reality is that most of what the Internet has to offer on the subject is GARBAGE like STINKY AWFUL ROTTEN G-A-R-B-A-G-E.

I believe that sex is meant for marriage (certainly NOT a popular internet idea). However, we have some problems with what we communicate about sex in marriage. The prevailing perception about sex in marriage is that it is dull and infrequent. If you watch TV, read comics, or even listen to friendly banter, you will often hear this sentiment communicated. We need to stop feeding the bleak narrative of sex in marriage, especially in Godly marriage! Listen, I do not want to ‘awaken’ anything before its time, BUT in our sex-saturated world, if we are trying to tell young Christians to wait, we need to make sure they know it is worth waiting for! 
Sex in marriage is extraordinary and frequent if we make the choice for it to be! We have 2 full-time jobs, 4 kids, a dog, and plenty of things vying for our time, but we prioritize this because we recognize that if we believe God created sex for marriage, it must be VITALLY important. In our experience, we have seen this be truuuueeee over and over again. With busy lives, it doesn’t happen by accident. We are INTENTIONAL about it.  We’ve now been married 11 years and it is still a HUGE part of our married life and was TOTALLY UNEQUIVICLY AND ABSOLUTELY worth the wait!  We need to stop feeding the idea that sex dies in marriage and start communicating that in God’s design for marriage, sex is alive and well!