Marriage Tip #17: Feelings Are Often Dumb

I literally thought about stopping at the title. It is so simple and so true. Feelings are often dumb.  If I lived a life based on my feelings, I would be eating coffee ice cream with Biscoff cookies RIGHT NOW. Ok fine. I just had coffee ice cream with Biscoff cookies… and it was DEE-LISH-OUS. I don’t regret a thing.

But the point is, our feelings can be dumb. They can lead us astray. They are responsible for all kinds of bad choices in our lives. Take, for example, the guys who felt  this was a good idea:


Barfy burger, anyone? 

I am not saying feelings are all bad.  God gave them to us. We just can't be led by them, especially in marriage. In the words of my good friends Boston (and by ‘good friends’ I, of course, mean nothing), love is ”More than a Feeling”. Love IS a choice.  I repeat….love IS NOT A FEELING. Love is a choice. I choose daily to love my husband, and at times, it is in spite of my feelings.  So many marriages are like roller-coaster rides because they are built on feelings, not love. 

This is such an important difference! In the traditional “feelings-based” marriage, when it's good...it's reeaaaalll good, and when it's bad...it's REAL bad. However, in my “love-based” (love as a choice, not a feeling) marriage, I am happy to say that when it's good...it's reeeeaaalll good, and when it's bad...it's REAL good. Still. 

Get off the roller coaster, people. You’ll get sick, and not in the fun way, in the barfy burger way.