The Lie and the Truth about "The Lie and the Truth About Marriage"

There is a popular blog about marriage titled “Lie and the Truth about Marriage.” While I appreciate the perspective in this article, I get sad when I read articles that make it sound like this ‘reality’ is what everyone can expect in marriage. (Perhaps this wasn’t the intention, but I feel like the title implies it is.)  Maybe we haven’t been married long enough, but our experience has been nothing like this.  
Among other things, the author states, 
“Slowly understand that marriage is not what you thought it would be and your husband is not who you thought he’d be and additionally you are not who you thought you’d be” and “Understand with mounting dread that LIFE has killed the butterflies and this must mean you have ‘fallen out of love.’”  
Again, there is value in sharing these experiences because others going through the same thing can get a sense of hope, and I mean no disrespect to the author. However, I feel like for those headed toward the altar, this paints a pretty grim picture of what they can look forward to. Not all marriages are like the one described in this blog. In fact, that is largely why I started my blog. I personally think there are too many articles devoted to revealing some sort of dismal 'truth' about marriage swirling around the Internet and not enough to shine a light on the alternative.  
Don't get me wrong. I don’t think amazing marriages come naturally. Our marriage is awesome because we constantly and unashamedly pay attention to it. We are so much more than best friends. We are madly, deeply, passionately, and crazy in love with each other and have been every day for 8+ years. I have never had the experiences mentioned in this blog, and contrary to what it seems the author would have us believe, I don’t think this is our destiny.  
I believe God made marriage, and He happens to be pretty good at designing things that work. It doesn’t have to be a disaster. If it is, praise the Lord that there is hope (and I do genuinely think that is the noble goal of the blog I referenced-though I disagree with the delivery). But if you are a newlywed, or headed toward the altar, please don’t buy into the lie that this: 
“Sit with the pain. Sit with the struggle. Sit with the uncertainty. Resist the relentless urge to deflect the pain, run from the pain, numb the pain with food- booze -work –future tripping- unkindness- false certainty -busyness or any other Wisdom Killer…” 
...will define your marriage. Instead, believe that the next 8+ years of your life will be better than you ever hoped or imagined.  It will exceed every expectation you may have had. Believe it will be the best gift God ever gives you-it has been for us!

I hate Santa, Halloween, & the Easter Bunny

Just kidding! I don’t hate them. But we don’t do Santa. Or Halloween. Or the Easter Bunny. We only listen to Christian music. And, to top it off, I believe strongly in modesty and have some thoughts on what that means. I can hear your wheels spinning. Many reading this are already preparing their response to tell me why all these things are okay. SIMMER DOWN. Gimme a second and read on. 

While these are the prayerful choices my husband and I have made, I know many wonderful Christian families who do Santa, Halloween and the Easter Bunny.  I know some that listen to *gasp* ‘secular’ music.  I even know many wonderful Christians who think bikinis are modest....yes, bikinis! And, believe it or not, they LOVE Jesus!

Here’s the kicker. It is OK. I am no super Christian and neither are they. In fact, the ‘Super Christian’ myth is one of the most damaging of our generation (in my opinion). There is no such thing. We are all just people, unlovable, yet loved by God.   We all have things we are good at, but being a Christian isn’t one of them. It isn’t a competition.  

I am NOT saying everything is relative. I DO NOT believe in 'anything goes' Christianity. However, I DO think we can agree to disagree on some things. To accomplish this, we must be ok with hearing from our brothers and sisters in Christ. We must be able to LISTEN without immediately formulating the defense for our position (like you might be doing now).  We must be able to not take every opinion and thought as a personal attack. I love reading from other believers about why they have chosen to do or not do Santa. I love reading from brothers and sisters about why they think skinny jeans are, or are not, ok. I am not offended by it. I am glad we are all trying to figure it out. And I am thrilled we have the awesome opportunity to share our journey and lessons along the way.

On this side of heaven, we will have things we disagree on. It’s OK! Simmer down. Simmah-don-nah.

*This is obviously not a marriage yip, though it could apply to marriage. I have written a few marriage posts that relate. You could check out Stop and Listen, which has a similar tone. 
Also, would LOVE to hear your comments here!!! I am willing to beg-but I would rather not.