Tip #4: Never Say Never

This one comes straight from our amazing, incredible pre-marriage counseling. One of the things that he told us that has been monumentally useful is to avoid using words like ‘always’ or ‘never’ when having a disagreement. I know, I know, some of you are thinking, “This tip isn’t even useful because my spouse and I NEVER disagree.” Well, to you, I say, “Liar”. David and I have a wonderful marriage, but there are still occasions we don’t see eye to eye.


Early in our marriage, as we began learning to communicate (note: this process should never stop), we quickly saw how wise this advice was. It isn’t something we probably would have thought about without it being pointed out, so that is why I chose to share it here. In a conversation, when you make comments like “You never...” or “You always...” it automatically puts the other person on the defensive. Why? Because it is always never true. (I apologize for the poor grammar, but I was making a point.)  It may happen ‘often’ or ‘rarely,’ but odds are it doesn’t happen ‘always’ or ‘never’. It is destructive terminology, and when looking to resolve problems, that is not what you want.  

So, next time you are in a situation where resolution is the goal, remind yourself to never say never!

I love reading your thoughts and comments! Please tell me what you think! 

Prayer: God, thank you for the gift of my husband.  Please help us continue to learn to communicate in a way that honors you. I also pray for hurting marriages. I ask that you help open up lines of communication between spouses and that in every disagreement, you would bring resolution. I love you! Amen!