Tip #8: Speak Words of Life

As David and I prepared to get married, we were shocked at all the negativity we encountered. Much of it was done in an attempt at humor, but I rarely remember folks saying, 'I am so excited for you! You are in for the best time of your life!’  (It happened on occasion...but not nearly as often as it should have.) There were far more comments along the ‘Get ready to give up your freedom’ or ‘Are you sure you are ready for the ol’ ball and chain?’ lines. There is even a ‘you just wait...’ mentality associated with great marriages. People tell us all the time we haven’t been married long enough for it to get hard, or bad, or whatever.

It is crazy. And frustrating. And just plain sad.  

I have found that there aren’t too many people who speak very positively about marriage, and I think that is CRAZY! I LOVE being married. Are you kidding me?! I get to hang out with my best friend all the time! We laugh, we play, we dream, we talk...it is awesome! Are there ever bumps? Sure, but they are few and far between and pale compared to all the greatness of marriage. Besides, there are bumps in any relationship. So, if my expectation of a great marriage means we NEVER have less-than-great moments...it probably means we are both dead. Great marriages are not perfect marriages. They are just marriages that focus on ALL THE GREAT THINGS rather than the minor hiccups along the way. 

So today's tip is about changing this mentality...one marriage at a time. Rather than speaking ‘death’ over marriages, even jokingly, speak life! Speak words of encouragement, joy, and peace over marriage in general and, more specifically, your marriage.  

Do the same for your spouse. Look for opportunities to ‘brag’ about them. Not only does it build them up it also helps to remind you of how great they are. Don’t just do it in conversations with each other but with other people.  

Ask yourself this: If all someone knew of your marriage were the words that came from your mouth, what would they think? If it is bad, change it. If it is good, make it great! If it is great, keep it up!