Tip #7: Keep Your ‘Buts’ to Yourself

Have you ever heard or said these words, “I’m sorry, but...” If you have, this post is for you.  

Even in the best marriages, we will, on occasion, hurt or offend one another. In those situations, the 2 little words, “I’m sorry,” can go a long way. However, we often ruin perfectly good apologies with silly addendums because we feel we need to explain or defend our position. If you have been on the receiving end of one of those sentences, you know the ‘but’ negates the ‘sorry.’  

Therefore, David and I have instituted a rule in our marriage (and I recommend you do too): When apologizing, keep your ‘buts’* to yourself. Say you're sorry, mean it, and leave it. Apologizing doesn’t necessarily mean you are saying you did something wrong. It simply means you are acknowledging the other person's feelings and regret hurting them....whether you meant to or not.  

(*IMPORTANT NOTE: Don’t only keep your ‘buts’ to yourself, but any other creative way you may come up with to accomplish the same thing. Trust me, if you are used to your ‘buts,’ you will have difficulty giving them up and look for other methods of getting them in.) 

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