Once upon a time, I innocently walked outside only to find one of the most horrifyingly awful bugs ever created. Don't believe me? Allow me to show you a picture:
Like I said, horrifying. I called my husband out to take a look. Not surprisingly, his reaction was drastically different than mine. While I wanted to call 911 or perhaps the military, David wanted to-yep you guessed it-touch it. "It's dead", he said...
He lied.
As he began to investigate it, this monster of a bug suddenly clamped down its GIGANTIC pinchers. What was my husbands reaction? He FLUNG this HIDEOUS CREATURE RIGHT AT ME and it landed ON MY SHIRT. In other words, he tried to kill me. To this day he claims it was an 'accident'. I have my doubts.
Dear David,
Don't play with 'dead' bugs...at least not when I am around.
Love,
Your suspicious wife.
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